As a senior citizen, who may be single due to the loss of a partner or divorce, you may wonder if you are too old for the dating game.
It does not matter if you are looking for simple companionship or want to take the relationship further into physical intimacy or even marriage, you have to start somewhere, you are never too old to start looking and hopefully find the right match for yourself.
However, if you have been out of the dating game for long, you may have lost touch with new ways and means and also the new ‘rules’ that have been set for dating nowadays.
Fortunately, the internet and mobile apps have made finding a date easier and you may have a variety of people with many commonalities to choose from.
Why you must get back to dating in your Golden Years ?
Just think about it – in your twenties, you were worried about your education, career, and love life. If you were married, you may have had children, a mortgage, education and other expenses, and many other financial and other issues to weigh you down.
It is more than likely that you are more self-assured and confident in your skin and body. If you know what you are looking for in a companion, this comes across and you will find it easier to attract someone.
On the other hand, if you have been out of the dating pool for years, you may be conflicted about starting to date again and may feel like a fish out of water. If you were dating decades ago, then a lot of things have changed since that time and there are many new and different rules for dating in the woke generation, which you may or may not be aware of.
How can Seniors date again ?
1. With classic tried and tested methods
Believe it or not, traditional methods are also available for meeting seniors who may be in the dating pool.
- A bingo round
- A Club that you are a member of
- A Community event
- A meeting with friends and family
- A Coffee shops
Occasionally, there may be dating meet-ups in your local community.
You may even find a traditional matchmaker who can help find people to date. They will take your details and also check with you what you are looking for and then match you up with people they have who are looking for similar and compatible qualities.
2. With Modern Methods : Websites And Apps
Websites have been around for matches for a long time. Many are for dating; some are for marriage, some for relationships. You can even find websites for just friendships.
Apps are forms of websites that are available on your smartphone. They are easier to access, but offer the same functionality of websites. You merely need to set up an account and you are on your way.
While some sites require that you buy a membership, many offer a free trial. And if you are not comfortable paying initially, you can opt for free dating websites, there are tons.
Most websites and apps have filters for ethnicity if you are looking for someone with shared cultural backgrounds. At the same time, you can run a Google search for senior dating sites for specific ethnicities such as Indian, American, Chinese, Japanese, Asian, Arab, and others.
In case you are not technologically savvy or don’t know how to use these apps, you can ask a younger person around you to help you out. If you are unsure and don’t want to tap your resources for help, you can ask your Gemini or another assistant to help you.
The app or the website you’ll use will match you with people depending on your interests and what you want in a partner. Each app has its algorithms to do this. You can add the required filters in most apps and websites – this will cut down on the time you spend looking.
How Can You Succeed in Online Dating as a Senior?
1. Be Honest in Your Profile
Be honest when you set up your profile on websites and apps and put in a recent picture. If there is space, you can add more pictures of yourself in different settings.
Add whatever details you consider necessary regarding occupation, hobbies, interests and other things – check out profiles so you know what other people are writing.
If you match with a person, you can set up more meetings as and when convenient for both of you.
2. Follow these dating rules
Be warned – personal meetings are very different from online ones. When you are online, you are hiding behind a screen, When you meet in person it can be a different story altogether. You may be shy or loquacious; you may be overwhelmed or forthright; whatever it is, do not unload your whole life story on the other person in the first meeting or over share.
It may be a better choice to split the bill on the first meeting, even if you have selected a reasonably priced place to go to. If you go for repeated dates with the same person, you may alternate paying the bill. The same logic applies if you are paying to go somewhere for tickets and outings.
If both feel that the date has potential, then you can meet again, otherwise you can choose to date other people.
- Dress appropriately and be punctual.
- Keep your phone away.
- Show genuine interest and listen actively.
- Be respectful of differing opinions and backgrounds.
- Maintain good hygiene and grooming.
- Split the bill.
3. Beware Of Scammers
Many people on websites and apps may set up fake profiles and add other details. Many of these may be for catfishing or even plain scamming. It is always a good idea to be circumspect about your financial details and not flash money or cards around.
If you have read horror stories about scammers in the news and how they have swindled seniors of money and property, you should be aware that these are true stories.
As a senior, you need to be careful that you do not lose your hard-earned savings, investments, and money.
If your date tell you that he fell in love very quickly. Stop meeting him, he is most likely a scammer.
- Get the proof that the person is real
- Meet in public places.
- Never share financial details.
- Never send money to your date.
- Stop dating someone who fall in love with you very quickly.
- Trust your instincts (if something feels off, it probably is).
Why these precautions ? In dating apps, there are many false pictures and wrong details, let’s say “fake profiles”, so you need to be wary.
You may run a Google search on the person to get more details and you can find out quite a bit via this search. At least you may learn that the person exists and it is not a catfishing attempt.
4. Get Safe
It is always better to be safe than sorry. If you are meeting someone for the first time you must tell someone trusted about where you are going and with whom.
A simple trick is you can also arrange with someone to call you at a fixed time even if you are on the date to check up on you and this can also give you an excuse to leave if the date is not working out.
Do not to share your home address in the first meeting. Again, never share your bank accounts and other financial information. There have been many instances in which people have been scammed and swindled of their money by people they have been dating for some time and have come to trust.
- Tell someone trusted about your date details before attending it.
- Arrange an incoming call during the date
- Don’t share your home adress
You should also be wary that you can be gas-lit or ghosted by the person you are meeting for any number of reasons. If that happens to you, don’t get shaken up, but take it in your stride – this is one of the pitfalls of modern online dating and hookups.
5. If Dating Works Out
You have been on several dates and you want to take the relationship as a senior to the next level. This can be physical intimacy, living together, or even marriage.
As Dr. Pepper Schwartz, a renowned relationship expert, says, ‘It’s never too late for marriage’.
According to a study, as many as 14% of older adults are in a dating relationship with long-term partners. However more senior singles over sixty prefer to live together rather than formalize the relationship.
Do think about the pros and cons and share details with your new partner before taking it further.
If both of you are in good physical and mental health, nothing stops you, but if you have issues, it is best to let the person know beforehand.
Final Thoughts
Having a partner is a different ball game altogether!.
With a partner you will have someone you can rely upon constantly, someone who will be concerned about your well-being, and will be there for you in good times and bad, whether your relationship ends in marriage or not.
Start taking the first steps towards dating and you may well get lucky.
Smiti is a web content writer, journalist, book author, and dietitian whose work has appeared in Tribune India, Apollo Life, Indian Express, Women’s Era, and other print and digital publications. She transitioned from writing for the print media to web content writing and has ghost-written various kinds of content in a variety of niches.
